Mark Twain

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Mark Twain

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

Mark Twain

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Mark Twain

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

Mark Twain

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.

Mark Twain

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.

Mark Twain

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Mark Twain

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.