Mark Twain

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Mark Twain

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Mark Twain

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Mark Twain

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Mark Twain

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

Mark Twain

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Mark Twain

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Mark Twain

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Mark Twain

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Mark Twain

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.