Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

I have done some indiscreet things in my day, but this thing of playing myself for a prophet was the worst. Still, it had its ameliorations. A prophet doesn't have to have any brains. They are good to have, of course, for the ordinary exigencies of life, but they are no use in professional work. It is the restfulest vocation there is. When the spirit of prophecy comes upon you, you merely take your intellect and lay it off somewhere in a cool place for a rest, and unship your jaw and leave it alone; it will work itself. The result is prophecy.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), A Curious Dream (1872)

We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.